every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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