she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
