Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
