And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize