Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
