We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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