so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
