we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
