then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
