Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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