I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
