just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
