Christians are straight up FREAKS
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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