So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
