Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize