The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize