Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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