So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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