pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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