I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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