'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i think my mom watched the whole time
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
