I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
