No, you can still breathe under the balls.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
