so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
