Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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