so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Randomize
