i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize