i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
