All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
As shirtless as possible
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
