if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
