why didn't you poke me back
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
