Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I party with great urgency now.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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