he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize