i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize