Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
