im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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