Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
