if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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