Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
