just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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