let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
