well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
