I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
