Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
