He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
