is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
