they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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