Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
