I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I need a beard to bite.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
