I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
