He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My boob is missing a layer of skin
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
