Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Randomize
