Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
