I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
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