mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
