No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
