I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize