I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
