I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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