i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize